The Shimogamo Shrine is located
in the triangular area surrounded by the Takano and Kamo rivers.
"Lake Biwa"
Although there are mountains of shrines with noble lineages in Kyoto,
"Kamo River"
"Takano River"
Shimogamo Shrine is one of the foremost
"Shimogamo Shrine"
among the ones that existed prior to the Heian period.
Though scores of visitors go there throughout the year
"God of matchmaking Aioi Shrine"
to receive matchmaking and all kinds of other blessings from the gods,
few know that a small ramen cart appears in the vicinity each and every night.
It's called Neko Ramen.
The rumor is it uses actual cats to make the broth,
but whether that's true or not cannot be ascertained.
However, the taste is unmatched.
You are a person of Shimogamo Yuusuisou, yes?
In fact I am a resident of Shimogamo Yuusuisou.
Yes, and...?
I also live there.
Shimogamo Yuusuisou is a boarding house behind Eizan Demachiyanagi Station,
and it's apparently exactly the same as it was since it was rebuilt after it disappeared
during the violence of the final days of the Tokugawa shogunate.
If it weren't for the light leaking out the windows, it would be no different than ruins,
and when I visited there at the introduction of the University Co-op at the start of school,
It's no wonder I thought I'd accidentally stumbled into Kowloon City.
Ah, that's it!
I remembered that I have spotted this queer, curious fellow quite a number of times.
I am a god of Shimogamo Shrine.
My proper name is Kamotaketsunuminokami.
K-Kamotake?
Kamotaketsunominokamo.
Don't make me say it twice.
But the second time was different...
You didn't know?
I know everything about you.
Your parents' names, how you were always throwing up and making sour smells as a baby,
your nickname during elementary school, the middle school cultural festival,
your fleeting first love during high school, the first time you watched an adult video,
your life as a ronin, and your lazy, idle days spent after entering college.
You've got to be kidding me!
After suffering romantic disappointment in the club of your dreams, unable to open up to people,
before long you started getting in the way of people's path to love.
And why have you spent these two years in such a timid state?
That's because Ozu...
I accept that you have had your soul somewhat dirtied by the influence of Ozu.
But that is not all, is it?
The past two years go rambling through my brain like swaying paper lanterns.
At the sacred woods of Shimogamo Shrine, of all places,
my delicate heart was seized by painful memories, and...
"Ahhhh!"
...is what I wanted to scream out, but I restrained myself like a gentleman.
N-None of your business. It's got nothing to do with you.
It will soon be Kannazuki.
I must travel to Izumo once again.
It is our job, yes, but it is quite a lot of work, and don't make light of the train fare.
In this age we just toss everyone's proposals
into the wooden box for "already inspected" with hardly a look.
And yet as I am a serious fellow,
I can't help but to be deep in thought, scratching my head
thinking about which two people would be most suited for each other,
almost like a matrimonial agency.
Woe is me.
Don't you think?
I don't follow in the slightest.
When fall comes we gather at Izumo,
and decide the relationships of men and women.
Here is the name Akashi-san, whom you know.
And here are you and the name Ozu.
Do you understand?
Understand what?
You're even stupider than I thought.
As a god of matchmaking,
I am preparing to match this woman you know, Akashi-san, with someone.
In other words, it's between you and Ozu-kun.
If you desire, come to my room.
Shimogamo Yuusuisou, room 210.
This strange fellow is saying he is trying to tie Akashi-san to either Ozu or me.
When I was in high school I didn't participate in any club activities
and just stayed cooped up with a bunch of other layabout guys.
But now I was a brand-spanking new freshman university student.
and countless doors to the mystical treasure that is known as
that "rose-colored campus life" lay open before me.
I was half-swooned with glee.
And the one I chose was...
"Cupid"
Among the raven-haired maidens working up an invigorating sweat,
I would begin the rally of love!
...is what I, a fool beyond all help, had thought.
The first summer.
My still-as-of-yet rose-colored self was cut to the quick by that which is called reality.
Making 100 friends wouldn't be so bad, or so I frivolously thought,
but I was soon made aware that just how difficult casually getting to know other people could be.
My wish of a rally unfulfilled, I was not even able to hit back,
and my serves were left unreturned.
I tried training myself to be sociable and easy-going,
but I wasn't part of the conversation to begin with.
By the time I realized I had to be sociable in order to be included in the conversation,
it was already too late. I had lost my place among the circle.
It was then that an ominous man stood beside me with a face of ill portent.
Are you some messenger from hell that only delicate little me can see?
You say some pretty mean things.
There's no need to worry, I am your compatriot!
That was my first contact with Ozu, as well as worst contact.
Anyway, it's quite a contrast, isn't it?
Maybe I should mix it up over there myself.
"Shimogamo Shrine"
The place where the Kamo and Takano rivers join
below the Shimogamo Shrine is referred to as the "Kamo River Delta,"
"Us, Concealed" "Party Area"
and is widely used as a party location for celebrating the beginning of summer.
Ozu is in the same year I am.
8 in 10 people who saw him in the dark would mistake him for a youkai,
"Hates vegetables"
"Grades dangerously low"
"Selfish"
"No pride"
"Lazy"
"Picks on the weak"
"The devil"
and the remaining two could be convinced of it.
"Sucks up to the strong"
"Doesn't care as long as it's funny"
"Fast at running away"
"Worthless character"
Eating the unhappiness of the others as a topping on his rice,
he's a man with seriously not a single point of praise.
My soul would have surely stayed unblemished were it not for having met him.
Hey, are you gonna turn on me?
I'm just joking with you.
Stop touching me!
But the night breeze is so chilly...
You lonely bastard!
Damn it... Why does it have to be you next to me instead of a raven-haired maiden?
Oh, look. Akashi-san came, too.
See, over there.
Let me see!
She's in the engineering department, so maybe she's designing for Birdman or something.
Hey, maybe we should call it off for today...
I don't want to get Akashi-san mixed up in this.
What are you saying? What happened to your pride as a "Black Cupid"?
Well, sure I have my pride, but to someone from the outside, this just looks like...
You're going to let your conviction bend because you're worried about what other people think?
Well I, who have dedicated both my body and soul, am not a person such as that.
Are you not here today precisely because you bare this loneliness and isolation?
They are the ones that have lost sight of reality!
You must bring the hammer down upon those who have lost themselves among frivolous dreams!
Now, without further ado!
Hear ye, hear ye! For we are the ones who hinder love!
We will now rain the heavens down upon you merrymaking ladies and gentlemen!
Id... iot...
Yes, we may be idiots, but you guys should watch out for us!
Bottle rocket fireworks are for the purpose of rocketing up into the night sky.
"Bottle rockets, roman candles and firecrackers are not allowed"
Doing things like holding them in your hand,
aiming them at people, or using them to bomb people over rivers
having a peaceful harmonious party is quite not allowed.
Hold your ground! Counterattack!
Oh?
You damn barbarians!
That's one shallow river!
We're gonna smack you good!
Hey, Ozu, they're not all out!
Hey!
Since I had met Ozu it was just cutting, cutting, and more cutting
the red threads that stretched across the circle like at Yasui-konpiragu.
"Fatty"
At these activities Ozu was ingenious,
and there were even villainous rumors
that there was no personal information we did not know and make use of,
and that we would scatter oil and then light fires,
and whether that was true or not it was spread around
"Baldy"
and it was an environment where we were set up as guys
who constantly enjoyed blazing scenes of carnage here and there inside the circle.
Like some incarnation of evil, a disgrace among all homo sapiens.
Even after we were kicked out of the circle,
we did not let our activities slacken, we expanded globally,
and cloaked as gods of death the evil name of the "Black Cupids" roared throughout the land.
If there was a maiden in love in the east we'd say "Give up on that freak,"
or for a man in the west worried about one-sided love we'd advise
"Just give up, it's no use."
If the spark of love was sprinkled in the south, we'd immediately pour water on it,
and it's said love in the north is impossible to begin with.
Sometimes our victims came close to drowning us in the canals of Lake Biwa,
surrounded the boarding house, made me hide in a manga cafe in Kitashirakawa,
or cried at me in the middle of Konoe Street when I spoke too frankly.
But I didn't lose, I couldn't lose,
even though I was sure that losing would have let me and everyone else be happier!
Except for Ozu. I could care less if he's happy!
As I was walking, catching my breath after having run all the way to Kiyamachi,
under the overhang of someone's house
I was caught by an old woman who emitted a suspiciously ghoulish aura.
This unplaceable aura was persuasive, and thinking logically,
there was no way that the fortune-telling of a creature
who emits such an aura could be anything but spot on.
What do you want to know?
Your face is a face of extreme impatience... You are unsatisfied.
I can feel that you are not blessed with a situation
where you can make the most of your talents.
Yes, that's exactly right!
I can sense your fiercely earnest talent.
Quickly did I tip my hat to the old woman's keen insight.
To perceive my good sense and talents in an instant and yet be so very unassuming,
like how a master always hides their true ability, it made even me forget where I was.
Anyway, I sense there is an opportunity you can't let pass by.
An opportunity?
As in an excellent chance.
Yes, I know what it means...
This opportunity is always dangling in front of your eyes.
You must grab this opportunity and act on it.
It's still somewhat vague.
Can you be more specific?
And if you do not!
You will walk this life as now, ever unchanging.
That'll be 1,000 yen.
But you haven't answered anything yet!
Playing the lost lamb?
A friend of yours, Ozu-kun?
You shameless bastard!
How the hell are you popular all of a sudden?
Now that's just uncalled for.
Force feeding me such a bundle of fungi?
What is with these ribbed bits?
She's the dental hygienist at the dentist I go to.
She looked totally drunk and asked me out for drinks.
Dentist?
And what about you?
I bet you've never had a young lady like that stick her fingers
in your mouth your entire life, right?
Don't bring me down to your level.
Oh, yeah?
I know you visited the god of matchmaking at the Shimogamo Shrine.
I just wanted to do it once for fun!
Speaking of which, what do you think of Akashi-san?
In other words, it's between you and Ozu-kun.
What do I think?
I had thought I was the only person unfortunate enough
to actually be able to comprehend a human being as dumb as yourself, but...
Shush, you.
I think she might go out with you.
This is an opportunity!
Now look here.
I'd much rather have a beautiful raven-haired maiden
that makes you go "whoa..." than someone who is able to comprehend a person such as myself.
Why so selfish?
Don't tell me you're still hung up on being dumped by Kohinata-san?
when we were freshmen, right?
Say not that name in my presence.
Then I'll become happy in your place.
I'll take this opportunity.
Now see here. Akashi-san is not interested in you.
Don't give me that depressed look.
I pray for your victory.
Shut up!
Thanks to you I've wasted my perfectly lovely college life.
Oh? I think you're also to blame for that.
After all, it doesn't matter which path you took,
you'd keep ending up right where you are now.
At any rate, once I met you I put all my efforts into making you no good.
Why do you haunt me so?
It's the way I show my love! We're connected by the black thread of fate, after all.
"The Japan Trench"
A chill went down my spine as a fearsome phantom rose into my mind.
Senpai, if you want to eat any more, please hurry.
Akashi-san, why are you here?
You really are pretty dense, aren't you?
This is the usual place for the after-party, yes?
The Birdman Circle is camped out over there.
I haven't eaten meat in a while so if you don't mind...
Meat after a party? Do they have no pride as agricultural people?
Where's Ozu?
He already ran out the back door.
You escape too, Senpai.
That bastard's left me behind again!
I will handle the bill, so go out the back. That's what I came to say.
I'm in your debt.
Forget about the debt, just keep your promise.
Never mind. Hurry and leave, I have to get back.
I met Akashi-san the previous year during a part time job at the Shimogamo used book fair.
A year younger than I, said to be in the engineering department,
and meticulously prepared at anything and everything she does,
it felt like one stare from her eyes and even a shoplifter would stay their hand.
Oh, really?
What do you do on vacations, Akashi-san?
Why do I have to tell you something like that?
After that she was not someone who was asked her weekend plans.
I sent her off with a fiery cheer of "You just keep doing things your own way!"
Good evening.
What are you doing? Don't just barge in my room!
How dare you just stroll on in...
It's a Castella.
You can have it, so chill out.
You giving someone something? That's rare...
You can't get any lonelier than eating a giant Castella all by yourself.
Pining for a taste of a person's love...
Get out! I'm busy!
Is this really necessary?
Leave!
He probably came to visit the person in this boarding house known as "the master."
This Castella is surely the leftovers.
Nevertheless, just as Ozu said, a Castella like this is to be eaten together with someone.
Most definitely not Ozu. Perhaps with Akashi-san...
Even I was surprised that Akashi-san's name came to mind.
Could that strange man who called himself a god and said he was heading out to Izumo
to decide the relationship between man and woman seriously be telling the truth?
Kannazuki. In other words, the 10th lunar month.
The myriad gods gather at Izumo, leaving vacant the various lands.
"Izumo"
This is quite well known. Even I know that.
Among those gods there are sure to be some of suitable peculiarity. That is not the issue.
The question I have often pondered is for what reason all those gods would gather at Izumo.
And written right there it says that, at Izumo, after a boisterous and outspoken argument,
the myriad gods decide the relationships between man and woman!
"Don't they have anything better to do?"
Now that I'd ascertained the truth,
it would be best for me to climb the stairs and see this god face to face.
But if that god from yesterday went...
Ha ha, I got you good!
...or something, I couldn't stand it.
I'd surely end up cursing myself and spending the second half of my life in a right mess.
Even if that man is really a god,
it's not like I'm burning with passionate love;
it would go against my beliefs
to seek the comfort of a stranger from this transient loneliness.
Is it not because I scorn those inexcusable students
who cannot bear the isolation and greedily seek out others
that I ran to the name of limitless notoriety as "one who hinders love"?
This guise of a barren, agonizing, wretched life...
Have not I finally reaped the victory close at hand from the endless number of defeats?
Would I, the one who hinders love, forgive myself for changing the way I live?
Or will it end with me proving entertainment to the gods as the spider's thread to which I cling snaps?
Then I'll become happy in your place.
Although I don't think Akashi-san would be fooled by a freaky youkai like Ozu,
I feel like her compassion may be deep enough to find a monstrous man like him intriguing.
If this continues and Ozu and Akashi-san become friendly with each other,
this will no longer be a problem of my own love;
it will become entangled with Akashi-san's future.
I felt like even my reason was crumbling to pieces like the Castella before me.
I'm not going to lose.
I'm not going to lose to pining for love!
The taste is definitely unmatched,
but unfortunately no one knows where they'll set up.
It's a ramen stand that comes and goes as it pleases.
You go there quite often, yes, Senpai?
Well, I have a good nose.
When I'm hungry, if I cock my ear I can hear Neko Ramen's wind chime.
I would like to try eating there as well.
Let go! Let go, Akashi-san!
I s-s-squished it‚ I squished it...
Now, now, calm down.
I apologize. I am not fond of moths.
These are called Mochiguman, and they come in sets of five, but I have lost one.
Worry not! As this Earth is round, you are sure to meet once again!
Or if you'd like, I'll help search for it.
I'd rather you take me to Neko Ramen.
If that's what you want.
Then it's a promise.
Promise? Ah, that's it.
After careful analysis, indeed over-analysis of things,
I calmly execute a perfect countermeasure.
Or rather, I'm a man who doesn't hesitate to analyze to the point
where a perfect countermeasure becomes out of reach.
Analyzing the number of different patterns of Akashi-san's life and my life,
I quickly came to a conclusion as to who should become happy, and who should not.
But the most vexing question of all was whether I,
who had hindered the path of love for countless people,
could at this juncture change the way I live.
As a result of the life or death death struggle between love and reason that occurred within me,
I stumbled in my sleep-deprived state to knock on door 210.
Yeah?
You can't give her to Ozu!
Give Akashi-san to me!
Right. Good, wait here a moment.
Oh? Understood, yes...
Meet me before 8 PM on the east side of Kamo-oohashi.
Keep moving! Keep moving!
Stopping on top of the bridge is dangerous!
Oh, so today is Gozan.
Now you will cross this Kamo-oohashi.
When you do, Akashi-san will come walking from the other side.
Strike up a conversation about something and ask her out on a rendezvous.
No way! I refuse!
Stop your whining.
Something isn't right here!
Weren't you going to Izumo and being a matchmaker?
This sort of preparation is also important.
This is nothing but a frontal attack!
Stop complaining and get out there.
Everything until now is water under the bridge!
Now's the time to push forward toward that rose-colored campus life!
Senpai, good evening.
You escaped safely last night?
Thanks to you, yeah...
Here for Gozan?
Yes yes.
Bye!
That went well.
That's enough for today.
I was able to come this far despite
learning not even the slightest bit about running the path of love!
This was plenty!
Oh, hey!
You just thought something like "that's enough for today," didn't you?
Don't defy the words of a god, hurry up and run along the path of love!
Are you saying this was all your plot?
You made a wish to the god of matchmaking, right?
I don't want your help!
Now's the time to grab this opportunity!
If you don't make a serious move right now, I'm jumping!
Wait a sec!
How do my love life and you jumping have anything to do with each other?
I'm not too sure myself.
Ozu-san! The river is swollen.
You will die if you jump in.
You damn traitor!
You've got nowhere to run, Ozu!
Revenge for the fireworks? But, this is...
Ozu-senpai, have you done some more mischief?
You evil, good-for-nothing...
Ozu!
You're a friend of his?
Me? I don't know Ozu at all...
Don't!
I can't shake off the feeling of regret
for choosing tennis circle "Cupid" in front of that fateful clock tower.
If then I had chosen some other circle I would have surely spent quite a different two years.
Perhaps I could have grasped
the mystical treasure that is known as that "rose-colored campus life".